


Mr. Smith Goes To Egypt

by KurtPikachu2001



Category: American Dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 12:31:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2025237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurtPikachu2001/pseuds/KurtPikachu2001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stan, Francine, Roger, and the rest of the CIA go on a mission to Egypt to retrieve the lost scrolls of King Tut.   They get an adventure of a lifetime.  Will some evil hands get to the scrolls first?   Hayley, Jeff, and Steve do not appear in this fanfic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr. Smith Goes To Egypt

American Dad!

Fanfic Title:

Mr. Smith Goes To Egypt

by: Trenton Sands

Opening Credits Scene

Roger's disguise: Twill Ogdenbone

 

Scene 1:

One fateful day at the Smith house, a knock is heard at the door. Stan goes to answer the door, it was Bullock and Jackson.

Stan: Bullock and Jackson. What brings you here?

Bullock: We're here to tell you that we just won a mission of a lifetime!

Stan: I don't follow....

Jackson: Remember when we were in competition with other CIA agencies in America for that mission of a lifetime?

Stan: Los Angeles didn't win, did they? Damn I hate California!

Bullock: No, we're here to tell you that the Langley Falls division won!�

Stan: Really? No beep! What mission did we win?

Jackson: We're going to Egypt to get the lost scrolls of King Tut!

Stan (squeals in delight): We got the Egypt mission! We got the Egypt mission! Just because I reacted like that, does _not_ mean I'm a lady, okay!�

Bullock: We already forgot! Also, we have a plane that we're going to use to get there. Follow us.

Jackson and Bullock lead Stan to the forest where the plane is.

Bullock: We forgot to tell you that there's going to be a rookie CIA agent from LA joining us.

Stan: Wonder who it could be?

Jackson: He says he knows you. His name is Joe Hennesburg.�

Stan: My roommate from college, he used to haze me. Made me do a sex video with a prostitute where I had to dress like a medeveal knight!�

 

Scene 2:

At the forest they see an old WW2 fighter jet, but it's more techologically advanced. Roger is dressed as Joe Hennesburg. Roger is wearing a brown wig, and a red suit. Francine and Agent Saunders is there, too.

Francine: Hi, Stan! Congrats on the mission!

Stan (takes Roger aside): Roger! You were Joe Hennesburg?

Roger (laughs): Didn't take much to figure that one out!�

Stan: You were my college roommate? The one who used to write 'sodomize me' on my forehead?

Roger: I'm an international man of mystery!�

Stan: Francine, what are you doing here? You here to see me off?

Francine: No, silly! I'm going with you.�

Stan: What? I thought Reginald, Duper, and Dick Reynolds were going?

Roger: Oh, turns out Dick Reynolds is in a custody dispute with his wife over his dog, and Reginald had testify against a mob boss, and Duper. Don't know what became of him.�

Saunders: So, we were short a few guys......

Francine: And we're filling in for them! Oh, Stan! Isn't this incredible?!

Stan: Yeah, I guess!

Saunders: We had no other choice.�

Francine: Just think. You and I on a CIA Mission together! Working side by side as husband and wife! Why, we're like Hart To Hart! Or McMillian and Wife! (squeals) This is so exciting!

Bullock: Smith! You know how we feel about taking spouses on CIA trips.�

Stan: Awwww. You'll have to excuse her Bullock. Ever since she saw that movie True Lies, she's been wanting to go on a CIA mission with me.

Bullock: I understand. James Cameron movies have that affect on people.�

Roger: Yeah, and Frannie has a knack for solving riddles!

Francine: It's how I past the time when I was in prison!

Jackson: And this WW2 fighter jet is going to take us there. We did a few altercations on it!

Stan: Imagine this! A mission in Egypt in a WW2 Fighter Jet!�

Roger: It's a total jalopy.....

Bullock: It's not a jalopy! Everyone aboard!

Roger: On the way back, I'm driving this jalopy....

Saunders: It's not a jalopy Joe!

Roger: Don't care, hope this jalopy can take us to Egypt and.....

Stan (screams in Roger's face): IT'S NOT A beep jalopy!

Roger: OKay....

Everyone boards the plane that is until Principal Lewis comes by.

Lewis: Hey, you mind if I join you on this mission? I've never left Langley Falls and always wanted to see the world for real, instead of through drugs!

Stan: I'll handle this. (gets off plane)

Bullock: Who is that guy?

Stan: Some guy who's been attaching himself to my family. He's like Aunt Edna, if she were black and a male.�

Lewis: So, do I get to come?

Stan: Of course. All you need to do, is turn away from the plane, close your eyes, plug your ears, and count to 10!

Lewis: Can do! 1.....2.......3.......4......

Prinicpal Lewis does so, and Stan sneaks aboard the plane. Saunders and Jackson fly the plane as it takes off.�

Lewis: Ohhh! Dammit! Left behind again!�

Stan and Francine: (laughing)

Francine: That wasn't the first time we left behind a black guy!

Stan: When was the first?

Francine: Tungee. That child we sponsered. Remember him?

Stan (cynically): Yeah, how can I forget. We loved him.

The WW2 fighter jet flies to Egypt. It takes 8 hours to get there.�

 

Scene 3:�

As Jackson and Saunders were flying the plane, Bullock readies the plan to get the scrolls by showing them a map of the place in Egypt they are going to get the scrolls.�

Bullock: Attention everyone. This is the map where were going to go. It's in the desert in these deserted pyramids. Just to tell you, these scrolls are said to contain magical powers!�

Stan: That's right. First we go into this pyramid that's supposed to be a casino.�

Bullock: And then we out of the pyramid via a slide until we find a chair.�

Stan: This chair is supposed to lead us to an abandoned castle where the scrolls are.

Bullock: Then we get the scrolls that will set off a wind that's going to come from "The Ass Of Egypt".

Stan: It looks like Melissa McCarthy on steriods! (laughs) Don't know why that's called that.....

Roger: We got all that down. What do you say we watch some DVDs before we get there!

Francine: How about we watch 'Girls'?

Stan: Or we can watch other HBO shows like 'Game Of Thrones'?

Roger: HBO shows? Who wants to watch a bunch of whiny bohemian bitches piss and moan about their sex lives or a bunch of half nude homosexuals sword fighting each other, when we can watch something better?

Stan: What do you suggest, Joe? Knowing you it's probably Zack and Miri Make A Porno!

Roger: A double feature involving interracial relationships. Might I suggest the James Garner classic "Duel At Diablo" followed by the Matthew Perry 1997 flick, "Fools Rush In"?

Stan: Fine! Knowing from expirience, it's either Joe's way or the highway.

Bullock: We'll watch those!

Stan: James Garner was an awesome cowboy! Don't approve of him being in a movie where he dates a minority, co stars with Sidney Poitier.....can't we watch one of his "Support Your Local" movies, instead?�

Roger: Nope! Double feature it is.

Bullock, Stan, Roger, and Francine watch the movies. They land in the Egyptian desert in four hours to begin their impending mission! Jackson, Bullock, and Saunders had no idea that Joe Hennesburg was really Roger the Alien.�

 

Scene 4:

Saunders and Jackson landed the plane in the middle of the Egyptian desert. Everyone came out to look for the pyramid whilst walking through the desert sand.

Jackson: Don't we need a camel for this?

Bullock: No Camels! We're finding this pyramid on foot, like real men would do!

Stan: That's right! Camels are for sissies!

Roger (singing): Camels are for sisses! Dah dah dah! Camels are for sissies! Dah dah dah!�

Stan: So, 'Joe', what made you decide to leave Langley Falls for LA?

Roger: I wanted a carrer in stand up. Toured with Louis C.K. for a while, then my career wasn't going anywhere, so I just became an agent....

Francine: Was this before or after you saved Stan from Area 51?

Roger: It was in the 1990's Frannie. (whispers to Stan and Francine) Had to make up a backstory so they'd pick me for this mission.

Saunders: Glad we did because he brought him along so he can be the comic relief!

Jackson: Yes, and we heard his jokes! He's hilarious!

Bullock: Gentlemen, up ahead! It's the pyramid!

When they were going to the pyramid, they are stopped by guards who are dressed as nomads.

Nomad #1: Halt! Who goes there?

Stan: American CIA agents, that's who!

Nomad #2: What do you wish to seek?

Bullock: We're looking for the lost scrolls of King Tut.

Jackson: Those Nomads look very creepy for some reason...

Roger: Yeah, they remind me of the Knights Who Say "NI"!

Saunders (laughing): Good one, Joe!

Nomad #1: Before you enter, you must solve this riddle.....

Nomad #2: What is the brightest object in the sky? And what is the opposite of city?

Bullock: Francine? Want to take a crack at this?

Francine: Sure! Hmmmm. Brightest object in the sky.....opposite of city.....(snaps fingers) Got It!�

Stan: What is it, Francine?

Francine: Sun and city! (gasps) Sun City!

Nomad #1: Correct! You may enter!

They enter the pyramid. Everyone had flashlights. As they entered they tried to look for the casino inside. The pyramid was dark and dreery and full of rotten corpses with their organs torn out. It looked like the inside of an abandoned barnhouse.

Bullock: Judging from these bloodied corpses, many have tried and failed to get the scrolls.�

Stan: Sun City! That was a slot machine in Vegas that was going to be banned for being racist. It was one of those charity events from the 1980's.�

Bullock: I played Sun City back in the day....

Just then a howling wind was heard.

Jackson: Okay, not to sound like a douche, but this is one of the spookiest missions I've ever been on.

Saunders: Agree with that. This place looks like that abandoned church in Jeepers Creepers. And where the hell is this casino?

Roger: I think you're a bitch for being scared, Jackson.

Francine: Look! There's the casino! Up ahead in that room there!�

Bullock: Time to play Sun City!�

Stan: Up yours, political correction!�

They all entered the casino and played the slot machines, and a bunch of gold coins come out. Once Roger pulls down a lever and a slide appears and they all go down the slide that leads them out of the pyramid and end up next to a wall.

 

Scene 5:

 

Stan, Bullock, Roger, Francine, Saunders and Jackson see the wall is full of hieroglyphics. It showed a stick figure giving another one some money.�

Bullock: This is the next phase of our mission. We need to figure out these hieroglyphics that will lead us to the flying chair.

Roger: Frannie! Care to translate?

Francine: There's nothing to translate yet. It's a puzzle. (picks up pieces of wall and puts them together until the pictures match) Now we translate!

Stan: What do those stick figures mean?

Francine: I know this! These stick figures mean this: "What a prosititute cannot achieve in the light of day, a pimp can achieve at night!"

Bullock: Well done, Francine! You've been a great help for far.

Saunders: Ancient Egyptians sure were perverts!

The hollowing wind sounded again.

Jackson: Where in the world in that wind coming from?

Roger: Hmmmm, I don't know, Jackson! Maybe it's HONEY BOO BOO!!!!!

Jackson screams. And everyone laughs.

Bullock: Jackson! I can't believe you're scared of this mission!

Roger: Every group needs it's coward! (sees Jackson peed his pants) Look! He peed his pants!

Everyone laughs.

Jackson: No I didn't! It's just sweat from the heat.....

Stan: That wind must be coming from the 'Ass Of Egypt'. Those two domes next to the castle.

Roger: That's probably what they're called Hosni Burbarak in prison!

Saunders: He does it again!

As soon as the puzzle was solved, a wall opens and there was the flying chair and a cherub statue.

Cherub Statue: You have solved the puzzle, now you must solve the riddle.

Roger: A Cherub Statue? I loved that scene in that movie Madhouse! (Indian accent) 'Don't choke my cherub! Don't choke my Cherub! '�

Stan: Quiet Joe! Let Francine concentrate!

Francine: What a Prostitute cannot achieve in the light of day, a pimp can achieve at night!

Stan: Take it away, Francine!

Francine: Make Money, or course!

Bullock: Precisely Francine!

Francine: Prostitutes have to give their pimps the money they make from their johns! Pimps however can make money any time of day by doing other things like sell drugs and stuff!

Cherub Statue: Correct! You may use the Flying Chair.

The walls opened and they all go to where the chair is. Francine stands on it and waits for everyone else to join her.�

Saunders: What do we do on this chair:

Francine (does cartwheels and handsprings and sits on the chair): I think we......sit!

Everyone joins Francine to sit on the chair. Stan grows impatient waiting for the chair to fly.

Roger: This is what the Spanish Inquisition called "A Comfy Chair".

Everyone laughs!

Jackson: Oh, Joe! You should've been a stand up comedian!

Then the chair starts to fly by jumping into the sky that leads them to the abandoned castle.

 

Scene 6:

 

Stan, Bullock, Francine, Roger, Jackson, and Saunders all get off the flying chair. They run into the abandoned castle.

Bullock: We did it! The abandoned castle!

They all enter the castle, and they see the scrolls are inside a glass box. The castle looked like a cross between an Abrabian and an old Egyptian style palace.

Roger: This looks like that castle from The Road To Morroco!

Stan: My favorite Hope and Crosby movie! Morroco? Isn't that where that anorexic model lives?

Bullock: Okay, Francine! This is your mission! Go get the scrolls!

Francine: I'm on it!

Stan: Kiss me for good luck! This mission we're on is kind of a turn on!

Francine and Stan kiss passionately.

Roger: Get a room you two, and get the scrolls already!�

Saunders: Joe Hennesburg does it again!�

Francine goes to open the glass box with a rock that busts open. Francine gets the scrolls and gives everyone a thumbs up. Just then the scrolls fly and another door opens and inside there was a man laughing evilly. The man catches the scrolls. The man was Rod Blagojovich.

Blagojovich (laughs evilly): HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! I knew you Republicans would show up! I beat you to the punch!

Francine: Oh, no! Who is he?�

Jackson: I thought he was in prison!

Stan: I know who that is!

Bullock: He sold Obama's senate seat!

Saunders: I can't believe it's him!

Roger: It is......it's Rod Blagojovich!

Blagojovich: That's right! It's me! Blago! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

 

Scene 7:

At the castle, Rod Blagojovich has the scrolls of King Tut in his posession.

Francine: You cheeky bastard! I got to those scrolls first!

Stan: How the hell did get them?

Blagojovich: I have telekenesis! I learned it!

Bullock: What are you doing out of prison! We'll be happy to send your ass back there!

Blagojovich: I never went to prison! I cloned myself!

In a flashback sequence, it shows what Blagojovich did to get to Egypt.

Blagojovich: While I was awaiting trial for selling Obama's senate seat, I cloned myself, and it was really my clone went to trial and then to prison. Then while I was awaiting trial, on TV I heard about that Egypt crisis. So, I disguised myself and went on a plane and came to Egypt. I wanted to lay low for a while so I can have a chance at a huge comeback! Once I heard about the Scrolls of King Tut, I couldn't pass up that opportunity, so I came to the desert and waiting for you Republican punks to try to get to it! Looks like I caught you in the act! (laughs evilly) Oh, and I taught myself telekenesis if I didn't mention that already!

Jackson: Yeah, but.......Why do you want the scrolls?

Stan: To take down the Republican Party?

Blagojovich: Once I heard that the scrolls contained magical powers, I wanted the scrolls so I can become Supreme Leader of Chicago! (laughs maniacally) I'll rule Chicago better than Obama ever could! He's doing a very awesome job running America, BTW!

Stan: Yeah? Well, why are there still no jobs, foreclosures, debts, and huge unemployment?�

Roger: "Yes We Can" my Ass! More like "Oh, No He Did-n't!"

Blagojovich: SILENCE! Now, let's see what this baby can do........

Stan: Supreme Leader of Chicago! You Democrats and your political scandals! I can name one! Whitewater!�

Blagojovich: I can name a Republican one! Watergate!

Stan: That was justifiable! I can name another! Zippergate!

Blagojovich starts reading the scrolls and talks in Ancient Egyptian. Stan, Bullock, Francine, Roger, Saunders, and Jackson ready to make their move.�

Bullock: Jackson, get that suitcase full of weapons.

Jackson (hands suitcase): Got it right here, sir!

Bullock hands everyone weapons. The weapons were machine guns. As Blagojovich was done reading the scrolls, an army of mummies arised from the floor. Everyone walked back and forth Blagojovich and the Mummies were on one side, and Stan, Francine, Roger, and the CIA was on another, and then a dance beat was played.�

Roger: Oops! Sorry, that was my ringtone! (presses button on cellphone)�

Then Mazzy Star's Fade Into You plays.

Roger: (presses button on cellphone): Sorry again. That's not very good fighting music.....

Then Roger presses a button on his cellphone and AFI's Bleed Black plays.�

Blagojovich: MUMMIES ATTACK!�

All the Mummies tried to attack them, everyone was shooting the mummies. Even Francine was. One of the Mummies grabbed Stan by the shoulder and threw him into a wall, Stan's shoulder was dislocated. Roger came to his aid.

Stan (screams in pain)

Roger: What's wrong Stan?�

Stan: Those Mummy sons of bitches dislocated my shoulder!

Roger: I'll help you! I was medic in Spain once!

Stan is grabbed by Roger by the arm. Roger stretches Stan's arm pulling it forward and snaps it back into the shoulder.�

Roger: How do you feel? You're a regular Stretch Armstrong!

Stan: That felt patriotic!

Roger runs off as Stan joins Bullock and everyone else into Mummy shooting frenzy. Blagojovich sat back and enjoyed what he started.

Blagojovich: They will fight! They will fight! They will fight! One day I will destroy the Republican Party, I will take over the America with my Mummy Armies! Today Chicago, Tommorow The WORLD! (laughs evilly)

As everyone was shooting the Mummies, the Mummies all die a bloody death one by one.

 

Scene 8:

Two of the Mummies broke away from the fight. They notice Roger is gone.

Mummy #1: Wasn't there another one with them?

Mummy #2: Let's try to look for him so we can kick his ass!

Mummy #1: Master Blago will be very pleased.�

Then they see Roger who's disguised as a priest.

Mummy #1: Oh, good. A priest. I need to confess to him something!

Mummy #2: What do you want to confess to him?

Mummy #1: I fornicated with someone else who wasn't my wife.

Mummy #2: You're a Mummy, not a Catholic!�

The Mummies walk up to Roger disguised as a priest.

Mummy #1: Excuse me, I need to make a confession....

Roger: Step right up my child.

Mummy #1: I cheated on my wife, what should I do?

Roger: I'll help you with that....(gets a knife ready)

Mummy #2: Just tell him what he should do....

Roger: Just listen to my sermon.�

Mummy #1: Okay.

Roger: Hail Mary full of Grace.........by the power vested in me..........I now pronounce you.......(reveals himself) MAN AND KNIFE!!!!!

Mummies: (SCREAM IN FEAR)

Then Roger stabs up the Mummies until they are a bloody pulp. Then Roger's cellphone rings. Roger answers his cellphone and it was Klaus on the caller ID.

Roger: Thank you, Jason Statham! Good thing I watched The Expendables 2 before I came here. (opens cellphone and sees on the ID that it's Klaus, and talks into receiever) Hello, Klaus?

Klaus: Roger?!

Roger: Klaus! What the beep do you want?

Klaus: I got a question. In that TV Show Gigolos, what is the name of that guy?�

Roger: Which guy are you talking about? The biracial half-breed?

Klaus: No. That guy with the funny name. Is he named Brace or Bryce?

Roger: His name is Brace, you idiot! Don't ask me why he's called that, it's just his name!

Klaus: Oh. As long as I have you on the phone, can I ask something else?

Roger (exsparated): What is it?

Klaus: David Duchovny. Is he in Homeland, or is his in Californication?

Roger: Californication! Now leave me alone and don't call me again! I'm on a fun mission with Stan and the CIA, and too bad you can't share this thrill.

Klaus: Okay, bye!

Roger: GOOD BYE! (hang up cellphone and join the others.)

Song Ends.

 

Scene 9:

Bullock, Francine, Roger, Jackson, and Saunders were still shooting up the Mummies with machine guns. Stan has a plan.

Saunders: These Mummies are endless, dude!

Jackson: They take a licking, and keep on ticking!

Stan gets a suitcase where the machine guns were and takes out his rocket boot.

Francine: Stan! You still have your rocket boot?

Stan: Sure do! Still have this, and you don't have your Muffin Kiosk anymore!

Francine: Yeah sure! Bring _that_ up again!�

Bullock: What in the world are you planning, Smith!

Stan: I'm going to make Blago really pissed at me, and have him chase me.

Roger: Hope you know what you're doing!

Stan puts on his rocket boot and walks up the Blagojovich.

Blagojovich: What do you want?

Stan (gives Blagojovich the finger): Up your nose with a rubber hose! Complements of Welcome Back Kotter! (flies away) America has gone downhill since you whiny democrats took over!�

Blogojovich: You make me so MAD!! (pushes a button and out comes a helocopter that shoots missles.)

Francine: Oh, no! Blago's going to kill Stan!

The Mummies were defeated, only to have more of them come, they all followed Blagojovich.�

Bullock: Come on, let's go see what he's up to.

Stan kept taunting Blagojovich as he kept trying to shoot missiles at the flying Stan. Blagojovich kept missing which was making him really angry!

Blagojovich: Hold still, you miserable abortion hater!

Stan flies on his rocket boot into the Ass Of Egypt. Blagojovich gets out of his helocopter as the Mummies followed him to where Stan was hiding in the Ass of Egypt.

Francine: Hope Stan's not stuck!

Bullock: Not only that, I also heard that anyone who posesses the Scrolls of King Tut and summons Mummy Armies will be blown away by the Huge Fart that's caused by the Ass Of Egypt.

Jackson: This mission is getting more and more scarier and vulgar every minute.

Saunders: Just hope Stan doesn't get farted away.

Roger: Welp, he's as good as dead. Who wants to sell his posessions on the black market if he doesn't make it?

Francine: NO!!! Don't say that! Oh, Stan! Please make it through.....Blago can really hurt you!�

 

Scene 10:

As Bullock, Francine, Roger, Jackson, and Saunders were standing by. Stan was still in the Ass of Egypt waiting for Blagojovich to arrive with his Mummy Armies.

Stan: Come on, Blago! What are you trying to do? Bore the beep out of me? I feel like I'm stuck inside Jessica Simpson!�

Blagojovich: I'm finally here. You're beaten! Me and My Mummies are going to kick your ass!

Just then a huge wind starts blowing around the castle area.

Blagojovich: Mummies! What is that sound?

Mummy #3: Have no idea, master!

Bullock: That huge fart should happen at any minute!

Roger: That would be hilarious if Stan got blown away by a huge fart!

Jackson: Wind's getting stronger.

Roger: Now that's what I call 'breaking wind'!�

Francine: I can't look! (covers her eyes) Tell me when it's over!�

Saunders: Awww, Joe! You kept our spirits up throughout this!

As the wind goes stronger and stronger, then the Fart from The Ass Of Egypt erupts that blows away Blagojovich and his Mummy Armies and they all fall off a cliff. Then, that's Stan's cue to fly out with his rocket boot on. Stan avoids being blown away by the Fart.

Stan: I....am.....outta.....here! (flies away)�

Bullock: YES! He did it!�

Then what's left of the wind blows the scrolls of King Tut into Stan's hands.

Francine: And he got the scrolls back!

Roger: YAY! Victory Baby! Let's PARTY!!!! (takes out a bottle of chardonay and drinks)

Stan flies away from the Ass Of Egypt and joins the others with the scrolls in his hand.

Francine (runs to Stan): STAN! You made it! I thought you were going to die!

Stan: Francine! (runs into Francine's arms) You know, this adventure has been a turn on for us!

Francine: It sure has! Let's do it again sometime! You were very brave back there getting the scrolls back!

Stan: No, Francine. This mission was yours. (hands Francine the scrolls). Without your help, we never would've deciphered those puzzles.�

Francine and Stan share a passionate kiss and the others come to them.

Jackson: That was very impressive Stan!

Bullock: Are you okay, Smith?

Stan: You bet! Never better! I'm fine! But Blago sure isn't!

Everybody laughs!

Roger (drunk): He probably splatted when he hit the ground! Hope he ended up like roadkill!�

Saunders: Let's hope he did!

Everyone enjoys their victory as they head back the the WW2 Fighter Jet.

 

Scene 11 Conclusion:

Song: Linkin Park's Roads Untraveled plays.

Before they boarded the WW2 fighter jet to go back to Langley Falls, Bullock burns the scrolls.

Stan: Why are you doing that, boss?�

Bullock: So, no other Rod Blagojovichs in the world would come after them again.

Jackson: Good idea. Wouldn't want them to fall into the wrong hands again.

Saunders: Who would want that power, anyway.

Stan: So, Bullock! Who's flying the jet back to Langley Falls?

Bullock: Joe Hennesburg will! After all, he's only a rookie and he did good on this mission, so he's earned it!

Roger (drunk): All right! I get to fly the jet! It'll be like Slaughterhouse 5!

Francine: But he's drunk! Look at him!

Bullock: He needs more expirience!

Stan: NNNNOOOOOO!!!!

Later on, Roger is flying the jet drunk, and is even flying loop the loops. Stan, Bullock, Francine, Jackson, and Saunders were all holding on for dear life.

Roger (drunk over loudspeaker): Ever notice when a white guy is flying a plane, he's like..... "This is your captain speaking"..... but when a black guy flies he's like......."We's clear fo takeoff to the ghetto, dawg!"

Bullock: Biggest mistake ever! We should've let Stan fly back.

Stan: Damn right you should've let me fly back!

Francine: I liked it better when Stan flew on his rocket boot!

Roger (over loudspeaker): And now for a landing! Ha! Just beeping with you!�

As Roger was flying the plane into a nosedive and back up again, in the distance, Rod Blagojovich was climbing up the cliff he fell, the Mummy Armies were gone. Rod Blagojovich stood on the top watching the WW2 fighter jet fly away.

Blagojovich: Those Republican bastards are going to pay dearly for this someday! Mark my works!�

As he shakes his fist into the air, Rod Blagojovich vows and swears revenge.

 

Song Ends

 

THE END

 

Closing Credits


End file.
